Luvtlee

 We’ve been on a new series at church titled “Disciple” and it is about how to be a true Disciple of Christ.  Did you know that Jesus loved being amongst the sinners?  They were who He came for, after all.  We have been learning about spiritually arrogant people who turn people away because they don’t follow the same dogma as they do.  They will put others down and condemn them because they are essentially lepers.  When a leper would come into town, people would yell, “Unclean, unclean”, and run from that leper.  Spiritually arrogant people will do the same thing when they see someone who they consider to be sinning.  I’ve always done the best I can, granted, I am not perfect and I make mistakes all the time.  But I do the best I can to welcome anyone into my walk with Jesus regardless of their looks, their job, their station in life…whatever.  I try to look at people the way that Jesus would have me look at them.  I will not disassociate with someone because I find out that they do things that many religious dogma would say were sins.  I have faced this adversity myself, and it angers me.  Spiritually arrogant people will try and make you feel as if you are inferior to them, that they somehow have a grasp on Jesus that you could never hope to have.  It drives me mad…I am torn on this subject because I am not sure how Jesus would have me react.  Be quiet and not say anything that might offend or set the person off? Give em’ a big old hug as they condemn me and say innuendos that refer to my spiritual walk with God as being less than theirs?

Anyway, long story not quite so long…I thought I’d try and write a poem about it.  Please don’t think it necessary to tell me you like it if you don’t.  :oP

Spiritually arrogant

You see the bright colors in my hair and you judge me.

You see the tatoos on my skin and you judge me.

You see the fat under my skin and you judge me.

You have no idea what it is like to walk in my shoes and you judge me.

I don’t abide by the rules that your religion sets for you and you judge me.

You have no idea the relationship I have with the Lord and you judge me.

You say that because mine is different than yours that mine is no good.

Spiritually arrogant, you condemn my ways because they are not your ways.

Did no one ever tell you it’s not about religion and doctrine?  It’s about a relationship?

Did you know smoking is not a sin?  It won’t get you into hell, it’ll just make you smell like you’d been there.

Did you know that Jesus knows how many hairs I have on my head and doesn’t care if they’re brown, black, red, blue or green?

Did you know that when Jesus came to save us, he made all things new and the old law of the Pharisees was no more?

I know that in spite of your judgment and condemnation, he loves you anyway.

Just as he loves me, anyway.

Okay, I know that this has nothing to do with weight loss.  But it has been weighing heavily on my mind and I feel purged of a great burden after writing this.

My weigh in this week was another great one!  Lost 4 lbs. this last week!!!  Can I get a wooooooot!!!!?  I sure wish I could keep up this 4 lbs a week thing until I reach my ultimate goal.  But, I don’t live in lala land lol.  I know that at any time now my weight loss is going to slow down…it’s just the way it goes.  TOM is due any day now so I am a little surprised that my loss was so great, but I imagine that I just haven’t started putting on the usual water weight gain that comes along with TOM.  I’m betting that next weeks weigh in isn’t going to be all that great because of it.  I am now 1 lb. away from my next mini goal!!!  That is so damn exciting!  I sincerely believe that even if TOM wreaks havoc with me this week, I will be at the very least meeting my mini goal if not surpassing it a tad.

Anyway, I am off for now as the kids and I are going to get some swimming in.  It is soooo hot today!  Right around 110-112.  Perfect swimming weather!  I will come on later and do some catching up with reading blogs.  I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend!

Oh yes…I ate them…and I thoroughly enjoyed em’ too!  And you know what?  I feel no guilt about it either.  I didn’t go overboard with them and I knew all day what was going to be coming that night, so I knew to plan accordingly and kept my calorie intake on the low side to prepare.  The all nighter was great fun…they always are lol.  I weighed myself this morning, as I do every morning (I only officially “weigh in” once a week though) and was pleasantly surprised.  I’m not going to say how much I am down yet because my official weigh in day isn’t until Sunday and anything can happen by then.  I know enough at this point in the game to know that my daily weigh in’s flucuate up and down too much to rely on them.  But, I was able to get away with eating that junk food.

My seven year old crashed at 2 am, and I followed suit not that much longer at around 3 am.  Carried my son upstairs so he could sleep with me and leave room for the rest of them downstairs.  They all were done in by 4 am.  Not exactly an “all nighter” but close enough hehe.  We have managed to go until 7-8 am before.  Then everyone sleeps in until 10-12 ish.  It’s good times, it really makes for great bonding for us all.  We went swimming around midnight and then got in some Halo 3, Rockband, World of Warcraft, Guitar Hero and there was even some epic Lego building going on!  It just occurred to me that I should’ve taken some pictures!  Dang.  Wish I would’ve though about that.  We’ve never documented an all nighter with photos!  Going to have to make sure I do the next time around.

My daughter is currently cooking up some pancakes, scrambled eggs & bacon for everybody now.  She likes to do this for our breakfast, which of course is really a lunch, after our all nighters.  She’s a good girl.  She’s turning 18 in October and I’ve got to think of something special to do for her.  We’re going to go to Dave & Buster’s to celebrate in a fun, kid like way by eating pizza and playing arcade games.  But, I’m not sure what to do/give to her to make it a special birthday.  Any ideas?

We did our final weigh in at the dojo for our “Biggest Loser” contest last night.  I had a 17 lb loss for the four weeks, and won it for the ladies.  Sensei Ric had a 16 lb loss and won it for the men.  He’s crazy because he couldn’t be more fit but he knows how to manipulate his body so well that the loss was nothing to him, it’s actually been incorporated into his workout plan.  That weight he lost is now going to be put back on as he bulks himself out again.  This guy is seriously fit, used to be a body builder and personal trainer.  Anyway, the two of us were way ahead of everyone else as far as pounds lost.  Of course for me, it was a no brainer because at my size, if you get truly determined and stick to the plan no matter what, it’ll come off like that.

We had our meeting yesterday with our Educational Facilitator and got our new textbooks and assignments for the first semester (I home school my two oldest, they’re in 11th and 12th grades).  The first day of school is Monday!

These two facts combined with the fact that there are no classes at the dojo tomorrow are enabling us to do an all nighter tonight!  Me and all the kids like to do this from time to time.  We eat junk food and play video games all through the night.  Our all nighters are legendary around here hehe.  It makes for good bonding time, and we just love it.  Each of the kids is inviting one friend over, too.  It’ll be great times…but pray for me that I don’t over eat on the junk food so that I can still have a good weigh in on Sunday!!!

Have a FABULOUS Friday all!!!

 Every now and again I like to take stock of where I’m at by looking at where I’ve been.  I found an old list of goals I set for myself in early 07′ when I started on this journey towards good health.  I thought I’d go over it, see where I stand for each of the goals and then create new goals at the end.  I wrote these goals on May 3, 2007:

I thought I would start making a list of what I am looking forward to doing when I am thin:

1.  Fitting in the booth seats at restaurants without feeling like I couldn’t be crammed in there any tighter.

I actually accomplished this and have room to move around if I’d like to even.  Can’t tell you how pleased with this I am.

2.  Ride a rollercoaster again!

Did it!  :o) I can now comfortably ride rollercoasters and no longer worry about being able to fasten the seat belt.  I had an embarrassing moment way back in October of 06′ when my family and I were at a county fair and I wanted to go on one of the rides with my kids.  Couldn’t do it because the seat belt wouldn’t fasten.  That will NEVER happen to me again!  Not ever!

3.  Shop in the normal sized clothing departments.

I am actually shocked to be able to do this.  Granted, I am in the high end of those “normal” sizes and still have a ways to go, but it is so nice not having to shop in the plus sizes any more.  I am going to wait until I hit size 12/14 (I’m in a 16/18 now) to buy a whole new wardrobe though.  In the mean time I’ll stick with what I have as they get bigger and bigger on me.

4.  Have a better sex life.

Accomplished this one too!  Granted, it’s few and far between now that he’s away for the year and we only recently had our two week visit.  But my biggest problem was always my size, I was never comfortable in my own skin.  Not so bad any more!

5.  Fit behind the steering wheel without my belly rubbing against it.

Got this one accomplished fairly quickly actually and now does my belly not only NOT rub on the steering wheel any more, I have so much room that I no longer need to have the seat all the way back.  I have it just where I want it and there is still a good bit of room between my belly and the wheel.  No chance of rubbing ever again!

6.  Live to see my future grandkids, and be able to play with them.

Obviously no one knows how this one is going to pan out, but I have a MUCH better chance of being able to do this now.  When I had my blood work done for surgery in May, everything was just excellent and I couldn’t have hoped for better.  I run and play with my younger kids now even.  Life couldn’t be more full where that is concerned.

7.  To live a longer life with my husband.

My answer for #6 could cover this answer too….my biggest worry now is his health because he continues to smoke a pack to a pack and a half a day.  I wish there was something I could do to make him quit.

8.  To be able to comfortably tie my shoes.

Can do this no problemo now.  I had forgotten that I used to have a very difficult time of trying to tie my own shoes!  There were days where I just said screw it and went with em’ untied!  How sad that was.

9.  Heaven forbid having to be picked up by EMT’s and put into an ambulance this fat….also, would like to be thin when I die…imagine the embarrassment my husband would go through otherwise.

Seems like a morbid goal, but none the less, that was a great concern of mine that I think I can now say is no more.

10.  To feel good about the way I look.

I don’t know if I am ever going to get there 100%, because I’ve never been a big fan of me and my looks, but I am working on this because I know how important it is to being healthy overall.  I do feel a helluva lot better about the way I look now…I just don’t feel that I am “pretty”.

11.  To not get out of breath while climbing a flight of stairs or two.

I can now climb multiple sets of stairs at a run without getting winded.  Yeah…seriously!  Used to be just climbing the one flight of stairs we have here at home, to go to bed at night, was such a huge chore for me.  It was HARD.  My heart rate would soar through the roof even.

12.  To not sweat so much over little things…literally.

This is a goal I couldn’t be happier to have achieved.  I used to get so dang hot so easily and would sweat doing next to nothing.  Simply not the case any more.  I feel as if the summers where I live just aren’t as harsh as they used to be.  Of course they are….they just don’t feel that way any more.

13.  To make less messes on my shirt while eating.

OMG I completely forgot this used to be an issue for me!  When I was morbidly obese I was always getting food on the front of my shirt.  I don’t know why this is, but I’ve seen other morbidly obese women who’ve had the same problem.  I am SOOOOOO GLAD that this is no longer an issue.  I don’t remember the last time I had a stain on my shirt!

14.  To roller skate with my kids.

Woohoo!!!  Been doing this for a while now.  It makes for some serious good times and bonding.

15.  To be able to run again!

I can run and was up to 1.2 miles without stopping.  That was before my surgery though.  Since my surgery the most I’ve run was a half a mile.  So…yeah, I’ve accomplished this goal because I can run.  But, I need to make it a new goal to be able to run further.

Which brings me to my new goals:

1.  Hit my goal weight of 173 by February 1st at the latest.
2. Running - I want to be able to run two miles non-stop by the time I hit my goal weight.
3.  Improve upon my push-ups so that they actually look like push-ups and not some funky half way kinda thing.  For the record, my push-ups are the regular kind, not the girlie kind where you get on your knees.  Sensei does not allow us to do anything aside of a regular push-up.
4. Make blue belt before Brice comes home in February.
5. Not skip out on any kickboxing or karate class unless I am so sick I can truly barely move.
6. Stick to my eating and exercise plan every day, without fail.
7. Pay extra attention to my housework and keep the house clean daily, not just sporadically.
8. Stick to my budget and spending plan, no matter what.
9. Learn to love myself and appreciate how far I’ve come, realize that I am worthy of good things and am beautiful.
10. Live in the day, not in yesterday or tomorrow.

I had first heard this poem recited on the Christian rock station I listen to way back when I first started my new lifestyle in January 07′.  I did share it way back then too but it’s lost somewhere in all of my blogs and I felt that it needed to be brought forefront again so that it can hopefully help to inspire and motivate people who’ve never seen it.

Happy hump day to all!

When you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it,

To work day and night for it,

To give up your peace and your sleep and your time for it;

If only the desire of it makes your aim strong enough never to tire of it;

If life seems all empty and useless without it,

And all that you dream and you scheme is about it;

If gladly you’ll sweat for it, fret for it, plan for it,

Pray with all your strength for it;

If you’ll simply go after the thing that you want with all your capacity,

Strength and sagacity; faith, hope, and confidence, stern pertinacity;

If neither poverty nor cold nor famish nor gaunt

Nor sickness or pain to body or brain can turn you away

From the aim that you want;

If dogged and grim, you besiege and beset it, you’ll get it!

                    Author Unknown

This last weekend was such a good one!  Saturday morning my 12 year old son and I got up bright and early and packed up eight water bottles, a can of almonds and our sparring gear and headed out to the dojo.  We walked the 1.5 miles there, drinking water and eating a protein bar along the way.  Got there in time for my karate class, which was loads of fun.  Sensei Shane set up seven kick bags as stations and set two of us at each one.  For each station he had us do a different style of kick, and he had a timer and would tell us when to start and stop.  I’m pretty sure he had us kick for 2 or 3 minutes at each station, but I don’t know for sure, all I know for sure was that it was one helluva good workout!!!  It was good times.  When my class was over it was time for sparring class.  My son and I share the same sparring class even though he isn’t yet in my teen/adult class for regular classes.  He’s a half brown/half black belt and will be testing for his black belt this October 25th.  I on the other hand am only a yellow belt.  This was my first sparring class and even though I’ve watched many sparring classes, I wasn’t sure how I was going to like it.  I mean…it always looked like great fun but looks can sometimes be deceiving, right?  So anyway, we all got plenty of turns sparring against each other but sensei said no sparring between family members.  BUT, at the end of class he said he’d saved the best for last and let me and Nick spar together.  He of course kicked my butt.  Heck, everyone kicked my butt that.  It seemed that all I felt comfortable doing was blocking my opponents attacks.  I did throw out some punches, kicks, and combos here and there but I really excelled at blocking.  I think I did pretty okay for my first time though, and really had a great time.  After sparring, we each drank down one of the water bottles and had a handful of almonds to “fuel” up and walked the 1.5 miles back home.  We stopped at the corner AM/PM and grabbed two hot dogs and two drinks and went to the park across the street to eat before heading home.  Yeah, normally that hot dog and soda would’ve been off limits to me, but after the three hour long workout we’d just had, I figured why the hell not, and enjoyed it 100% guilt free.  We enjoyed our lunch there at the park and then did a few katas to practice karate before heading home.  He’s got loads to practice before his black belt test in October, two new ones in particular, so I had him do those for me too.  Anyway, it was great times and was great bonding also.  We’re going to do this every time we have a sparring class, which is usually every Saturday morning except for the day after a testing Friday.  But, we aren’t having one next week due to one of the head honchos of the karate lineage we belong to coming in for a seminar.  I believe the following Saturday is the day after a testing Friday (my 7 year old son is testing for his green belt that day) so there won’t be a sparring class then either.  We will be there for the next one though!

Sunday was another good day.  Started out by going to church like normal.  The youth put on a really neat production set to the song by Casting Crowns titled, “Set me free”.  It was simply incredible.  There were about eight teens up there, all dressed in black.  One was in what looked like a KKK outfit, but it was all black…hood and all…he represented Satan.  There was a girl in the middle and she was surrounded by the one representing Satan and the others (his demons) who were in black pants and t-shirts and on their t-shirts each had a different word spray painted there that they represented.  There were greed, bitterness, lies, hatred…I forget what all but you get the idea.  It was dark with some red lights shining on them here and there and as the song started up the kids with the sayings on their shirts started grabbing at the girl in the middle and they had this big chain they wrapped around her.  Satan got in on it too and they were all wrestling with the girl back and forth, got her rolling around on the ground even.   When the song gets to the part that says, “Who is this man that comes my way?” a nice soft blue light shines on a man dressed in white robes with a gold sash, obviously representing Jesus, as he walks towards them on the stage.  The demons and Satan were doing their thing to the girl when Jesus’ hand flies out towards them and they all fell off of the girl, writhing on the floor.  Jesus helps the girl up and is talking with her when Satan grabs the chain and again ensnares the girl.  Jesus grabs the chain and begins playing tug of war with Satan and after a second of this he raises his hand towards Satan and Satan falls back onto the floor never to rise again.  It was incredibly powerful.  We of course gave all the kids a standing ovation and the cheers were through the roof.  They did such a good job.  During prayer afterwards I could hear so many sniffles going around.  We were moved to tears!  I did a youtube search and apparently there are quite a few other churches out there that did similar productions, but I thought ours was the best interpretation and am hoping that we get to get a copy of the video they made of it so that I can share it.  If we do, I’ll let you guys know cuz’ I’d love to share it with you all.  I’m going to post the lyrics to the song at the bottom of my blog here so you guys can read the words if you’re not familiar with the song.

This Friday, the 22nd, is our last weigh in for our 30 days “Biggest Loser” contest a the dojo.  Wow, how time flies.  Seriously fast.  I have such mixed feelings about the fast passing of time.  On the one hand the faster the better because it brings my husbands return ever closer.  But on the other hand, I am really enjoying life and want it to slow down!

Hope everyone is having a GREAT week!

Casting Crowns - Set me free

It hasn’t always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Chorus:
Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me

Chorus

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
The darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All Power on Heaven and earth belong to me
(Repeat)

You are free
You are free
You are free

Do you have A. A. A. D. D.?I have recently been diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D.

(Advanced Absentminded Attention Deficit Disorder)

This is how it goes:

I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice

the mail on the table.

OK, I’m going to wash the car, but first I’m going to go through

the mail.

I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail, and

notice the trashcan is full.

OK, I’ll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan

out, but since I’m going to be near the mailbox anyway, I’ll pay

these few bills first.

Now, where is my checkbook?

Oops, there’s only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk.

Oh, there’s the coke I was drinking.

I’m going to look for those checks.

But first I have to put my coke further away from the computer,

or maybe I’ll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for awhile.

I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye; they

need some water.

I set the coke on the counter, and uh oh.

There are my glasses.  I was looking for them all morning.

I’d better put them away first.

I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots.

Uh oh…..someone left the TV remote in the kitchen.

We’ll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to

watch television, so I’d better put it back in the family room

where it belongs.

I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw

the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down

the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do?

End of the Day: The car isn’t washed, the bills are unpaid, the

coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half-

watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I

can’t seem to find my car keys.

When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m

baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!!!!

I realize this is a serious condition and I’ll get help, but

first I think I’ll check my email…………….

Author Forgotten

Just got back from church and lunch out with the kids a few minutes ago, and am getting ready to head out of the house again to go grocery shopping.  Wanted to make a quick post though to tell you all how my weigh in this morning went (I weigh in for my own personal record each Sunday morning…Wednesdays is just for the dojo’s Biggest Loser contest for this month).  I lost 4 lbs. this week!  Four more pounds gone (again), this time never to return!

Will post more later.  Hope everyone is having an AWESOME weekend!  :o)

I got this story in my email, and thought it to be a profound one and wanted to share. We are victims of our own making and we have the power to set ourselves free. It is only a matter of choice.  We CAN control our eating habits, we do not have to let food control us!

Here it is:

Thomas B. Costain’s book, The Three Edwards, depicts the life of Reynald III, a duke in what is now Belgium. Reynald was

commonly called by his nickname, Crassus, which in Latin means “fat.”He and his brother Edward had a violent disagreement, and as a result, Edward led a successful revolt against Reynald.  He did not kill Reynald; instead, he built a special room at his castle and imprisoned him but offered him his freedom on one condition. If he could walk out of the room, he was free.  Edward offered to restore his title, kingdom and property.

That seemed a fairly easy imprisonment sentence but there was one big problem. None of the doors and windows of the room were locked. They were near normal size but Reynald was not.  He was too fat to fit through the doors or windows.

Edward knew Reynald well. Each day he sent Reynald a rich assortment of meats, breads, pies, pastries and other delicious delicacies. Since Reynald was now confined to a small room where even walking and thus exercise was limited, he did not get slimmer but grew fatter making his predicament even worse.

Accused of cruelty Edward remarked, “My brother is not a prisoner; he may leave when he so wills.”

Reynald was released ten years later when Edward died in battle. By then his health had so deteriorated that he died within a year. He was a prisoner of his own appetite and easily available food.

Within these pages are keys to your room.

You may leave the room whenever you so will.