Archive for March, 2007

Doing good in spite of it all…..

Posted March 30, 2007 * Comments(20)
 
I know that I’ve always said I will keep my blogs as positive as I can.  But there are several things going on in my life right now that I need to talk about, and they aren’t positive.  But, I am in good spirits and have not resorted to emotional binge eating because of them.  To not talk about the negative things going on in our lives would be silly.  There are important lessons to be learned in them, we’ve just gotta find them.  Life is an emotional roller coaster, and learning to deal with the downs is just as important as enjoying the ups.
 
 
First off, I have an update on my 33 year old brother, Travis.  As some of you may remember, back in early January he was hospitalized in ICU for a couple of weeks due to hundreds of blood clots in his right lung.  He had his eight week check up the day before yesterday.  The news wasn’t very good.  The blood thinners he is on has not made the clots break up yet, but he was told that over time they should.  They have prevented new ones from forming, and that is about it so far.  They told him that just over half of his right lung is now dead and some of the clots did move into his heart and that parts of his heart is now dead too.  They have to run more tests to determine just how much of his heart tissue is dead.  For the fourth time, by as many doctors, he was told that he has no right to be alive after what he went through.  By all means, he should have died.
 
This news was devastating to him of course, and when he called me up to tell me about it he told me how ever since our Dad died, he’s wished so badly he could go back and talk to him one more time.  Even if just one more time to tell him how much he loves him.  My brother said because of that, and because of the news his doctors gave him, that he wanted to tell me how very much he loves me and how thankful he is to me for always being there for him.
 
What a sad phone call that was for me to receive.  I couldn’t even talk about it when the kids asked me what their uncle called for.  God has been working in my brothers soul since he was hospitalized, and I pray that he continues to do so.  I want to have faith that my brother will live a long life, but I also want to be assured that he is saved, because you just never know.  I want to be assured that we’ll all see each other again in Heaven someday.
 
A second, terribly sad thing, has been going on in my life these past days.  A very dear friend of ours has a dying mother, and to know the agony she is dealing with every day in watching her mom suffer….it’s very difficult.  About two and a half weeks ago her mom went to the hospital for emergency gall bladder surgery.  They thought she had gallstones and was suffering greatly from the pain.  They removed the gall bladder and while doing routine tests on it afterwards, they discovered cancer.  Apparently gall bladder cancer is extremely difficult to treat, but they were going to do what they could to treat it and pray for the best.  But, in a matter of two weeks the cancer has spread to her spine and there is now no hope.  My friend is now putting her mom in hospice care and they’re going to try to take the pain away as best they can and make her as comfortable as they can until she dies.  To make the matter even more difficult, my friend went through the same thing with her grandmother this same time last year.  It was a different cancer, but the same situation.  That time it was her mother’s mother.  Now it is her mother.
 
The only thing that my friend has to hold onto right now is the fact that very recently her mom became a born again Christian.  So, she knows she will be with her mom again someday, but still, it only helps ease the pain slightly.  The death of a loved one is never an easy thing to experience.
 
I used to envy those who got to be with their parent as they died.  Because my Dad died so unexpectedly in his sleep.  No one saw it coming.  I always wished I had been given the chance to say goodbye, and to tell him one last time that I loved him so very much.  But, at what price?  What a heavy, awful price to pay to have to watch a loved one suffer.  I am now learning that it’s ok I didn’t get to say those things, he knew it.  He KNOWS it.  Someday I will be able to tell him again.
 
I do not talk about these things to try to depress anyone, I don’t want to darken your days.  But I do hope that maybe I’ve helped you to remember to live each day to it’s fullest.  We’ve all got tragedies, we’ve all got our own sadness and grief we will have to deal with at one time or another. 
 
Not one of us knows the time we’ve left.  We truly need to grasp EACH AND EVERY day for what it is.  Each day is a gift to be cherished, and not wasted on stupid, petty things. 
 
Be happy, and be blessed! 
 
 
 
 
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Keep on keeping on

Posted March 27, 2007 * Comments(17)
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I hope that everyone is doing well, and having a motivated day.  I am feeling a little sleepy actually, and that is odd.  Since I started working out, normally for this time of day I’m raring to go.  I think it’s the weather.  We’re having a bit of a cold spell and it is dark and gray out there.  We had a bit of rain during the night and everything is wet.  I can hear the wind chimes going on the porch, and they lull me.  It’s quiet, and it’s cold, and I’ve got a blanket on……I couldn’t be more comfy.

 
 
Got my strength training in, as per usual, this morning.  Am thinking I should get up and walk around to wake myself up.  Either that or go take a nap?  Hehe

 
 
I forgot to mention yesterday, my weigh in on Sunday the 25th showed a 5 lb. loss for the previous week!  That brings my total loss up to 53 lbs. in 11 weeks.  When I really think about it, I am shocked that I’ve lost that much weight already.  Time surely flies, and I always find myself where I am, surprised to be there.  Surprised that I weigh that now.  Thinking, I thought I’d always be 300+, and how nice this is to be progressing so well.  By that, I don’t just mean fast.  I mean by my mental growth through it all too.  Although, I’m not going to lie, it is nice to see the weight coming off quickly.  It is nice that my belly no longer hangs onto my thighs.  It is nice beginning to like what I see in the mirror instead of being repulsed away.

 
I have such a long way to go still, about another 130-140 pounds.  So much further to go then what I’ve already achieved.  But, if I think of that, focus on that, I will doom myself to fail.  Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, I am enjoying this journey for what it is.  Focusing on where I am now, and where I’ve come from.  Where I’m headed there is no end, it’s just an open road ahead of me.  I guess that is what helps keep me going.
 
You know, when I first started this thing, I couldn’t really do much physically.  Now, I get bored if I am doing nothing for too long.  I’ve got to move now!  I like that!  I used to have no troubles getting my heart rate up to 130-140.  Now I gotta push it hard to get it up to 130.  My heart is loving all this exercise, and it shows. 
 
Keep going, no matter how hard or rough the road may seem.  Even if you’ve got to  go slow at first, and take it bit by bit….just don’t sit by the side of the road waiting for a ride.  Soon you will find that road easier to travel over, and you’ll be so proud of yourself if you keep on keeping on!
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Congrats Violets! Blogging is a personal thing…..

Posted March 26, 2007 * Comments(12)
First, off, let me say CONGRATULATIONS to the BLUE VIOLETS for their win last week!  You guys are awesome, and as always, I am very PROUD of my buddies, whether they be blue or whether they be red!  Everyone keep up the good work and let’s see some good numbers for each team again!

 
I’ve been thinking about blogging, and how very personal it is.

 Some of us lay ourselves bare, open our souls for the rest of the world to see, always hoping that we will heal or improve ourselves through doing so, and hoping to not be ridiculed.  Some of us use the blogging merely to post what they eat and how they exercised for the day, just another tool to help us stay on track.  Some of us write several times a day, some of us write once or twice a week.  Some of us write even less. 

 
Some of us have hopes of making as many friends as possible, some of us are quite happy with the few friends we have and have no interest in making more.  Some of us care deeply about what others think of what we write, always hoping that people will like us.  Some of us couldn’t care less about what others think of what we write, people either like us or they don’t.
 
I have to admit that when I first came to this site, I was a bit of a noob and wasn’t quite sure of what to expect.  I was made to feel at home here by most of the people I’d made buddies with.  I jumped right into blogging and leaving comments on other people sites.  But, there was one little “problem”.  One of my buddies never once left me a comment, not one single word of encouragement…nothing…nada…zilch.  Aside of the one welcome to the website comment this person wrote to me.  I wrote many nice things on this persons site for a couple of weeks.  I left this person booster notes.  This person was on a lot, leaving comments on other peoples sites all the time, and I was in contact often with them; always hoping to hear back from this person.  It never happened and I eventually took this person off of my buddy list, because clearly this person was not a “buddy”. 
 
That was my only negative experience with this site and my buddies to date.  My point is this, I was hurt that this person had turned a cold shoulder against me while being so friendly with everyone else.  I didn’t know what I did wrong, if I had offended this person, or what.  But, I soon came to realize that there was nothing wrong with what I did.  These blogs we write are our own personal diaries in a sense.  If someone reads what we like and doesn’t like it, oh well.  If someone is the type of person to openly ignore one buddy while showering attention on others, so what?  This is the kind of person I don’t want to be friends with anyway. 
 

To make a long story a little shorter, don’t ever apologize for a blog you might’ve written that might’ve offended someone.  We can’t please everyone and shouldn’t feel we have to try.  All we can do is be ourselves and if someone doesn’t like it, oh well.  Que sera, sera.

Have a beautiful, blessed day!

Hottie Love

Posted March 24, 2007 * Comments(10)
Hey guys!  That’s right, it’s a Saturday and I’m here!

It’s ok…get up off the floor and brush yourself off.  No, it’s not your imagination either.

I just felt the need to come on and show some HOTTIE LOVE!

I am so psyched for our weigh in tomorrow!  I have been a motoring fiend for my workouts this last week.  Aside of my normal workouts I started getting an itch to just walk “somewhere”.  So, even though I had already gotten in my 2 miles on the treadmill, two of my kids and I went for a walk to a shopping plaza a long ways down the street last night.  All told, it was probably an extra 2 miles of walking that I got in on top of the treadmill walk.  We’re about to go for another, longer one in a little bit, but I will still get in my treadmill workout this afternoon too.  I just for some reason have an urge to go walking “to” somewhere, if you know what I mean.

And yes, I have been 100% OP with my morning strength training workouts too.  WOW!  75 days in a row of being OP!!!  That is one helluva reason to celebrate, and I’m gonna celebrate it by enjoying this gorgeous day that God has given me!

I hope the rest of you do too! 

GO RED HOTTIES GO!!!!


 
 
To all my other buddies out there, you’re all equally important to me too, and I hope that you all have an AWESOME weekend!


On spring, summer, swimming & water…

Posted March 21, 2007 * Comments(11)
Happy Hump Day! 
 
Yesterday was the first official day of spring!  We’re having some weird weather here in Sunny SoCal right now.  Last week it was so hot, we felt like we were in early summer.  We actually got to swim in our pool a few days last week.  It got as hot as 102?!  Starting Sunday though, a storm started moving through and really cooled things down a lot.  Yesterday we had a high of 56?, which I thought ironic because it was precisely half as hot as our warmest day last week.  It was heavenly being able to swim. 
 
We started getting rain last night, which almost never happens here any more, it seems.  *sigh* We were so looking forward to being able to swim on a daily basis again (we don’t have a heater for the pool, and couldn’t afford to heat it if we did).  We still are looking forward to it of course, but it’s been pushed into the future yet again.  Soon enough though, I am sure we’ll be back into our 100?+ temps again and swimming every day.
 
Thing is, we just had our pool put in last summer.  It wasn’t done until August 14th, so we didn’t get to use it much before summer was over.  So, we’re really excited about getting a full season out of it.  Plus, it’s going to be a GREAT way to add FUN exercise to my daily routine!
 
I have this book, “Chicken Soup for the Dieter’s Soul”, and it’s companion “Daily Inspirations” journal.  I am REALLY big on drinking lots of water throughout the day now, and I wanted to share this from the journal with you all:
 
    Many of us don’t know how much water we should be drinking every day and unfortunately, most of us don’t drink enough H2O.  It’s easy to calculate.  Take your weigh and divide it in half.  That’s how many ounces of water you need every day.  So, if you weigh 200 pounds, you need 100 ounces of water or about twelve 8-ounce glasses (or six 16 ounce bottles) of water.
    Caffeinated beverages and alcohol actually deplete water from our bodies, so if we drink those we need to drink even more water.
    Today, let’s take a bottle of water with us whenever we leave the house.  They say it takes thirty days to create a habit.  Let’s begin.
 
 
 
Take care all, and have a BLESSED day!

It was a hectic weekend!

Posted March 19, 2007 * Comments(13)
But, I am back in the swing of things again.? To all my fellow Red Hotties, I am sorry I could not get?to a computer in time to put my?loss of 3 pounds into the mix for our total this last Sunday.? I am SOOO glad?that we won anyway!!!? I tell ya, if?we had lost by a measly 3 pounds, I?don’t know what I would’ve done.? It would’ve been all my fault.?? But, the RED HOTTIES ROCK even when I am out of town on an emergency and can’t put in my results to help!? I couldn’t be more proud of you guys!
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A couple of you know, that Saturday my uncle Lonnie was rushed to the emergency, and is in the ICU.? He has blood clots in his lungs.? Some of you may even remember that back in early January the same thing happened to my brother.? I have learned that the tendency to have problems with blood clots is a hereditary thing, and I am now wondering if that is what killed my Dad in his sleep nearly seven years ago.? When he died, the paramedics said it was likely due to his heart giving out due to being a type 1 diabetic.? We didn’t want an autopsy done and just left it at that.? My uncle Lonnie is my Dad’s brother, and now to see him and my brother going through this, I can’t help but wonder.? It’s always been something I’ve been scared of getting, because back in 1997 a good friend of mine died from a blood clot to the lung about one week after having a baby.? She got up in the middle of the night and complaining of back pain, went to the bathroom.??She passed out, her husband called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital.? As they were wheeling her into emergency she looked at him and said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.’? She passed out again and a short time later was dead.
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So, it’s been scary watching my brother go through this and now my uncle.? At least my uncle is closer and I can go see him, whereas my brother is so far out in Ohio and all I can do is pray.? One good thing, my uncle is a saved Christian, so if the treatments don’t work, at least I know where he’ll be going.???
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The situation is still precarious, so please keep him in your prayers!
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I promise to my teammates, if any other emergency ever arises, and I won’t be able to check in on weigh in day, I will let WW know ASAP so you guys don’t think I’ve ditched you!
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I’d give anything to be thin again…

Posted March 13, 2007 * Comments(17)
I was thinking the other day about something that I experienced before beginning this journey, and thought I’d share it with you all.
 
I would often think or say, “I’d give anything to be thin.”  As I was stuffing my face, playing computer games (yes, I am a computer/video game junkie…a blog for another day, perhaps).

 
One day while talking to God, I said, “Lord, why do I have this cross to carry, it’s so heavy.  I wish my cross to bear was something different, because this weight is so heavy and I don’t like it.  Lord, I’d give anything to be thin again.”
 
I clearly heard Him reply, “No, you wouldn’t.”
 
I replied, “What are you talking about?  Well, of course I wouldn’t give the health and well being of my family and loved ones….I wouldn’t trade that for anything.  But, Lord, aside of that, I would give anything else to be thin again.”
 
So, He said, “No you wouldn’t, because you don’t.”
 
I said, “What……”
 
Then it hit me, He is right (He always is), I wouldn’t give anything to be thin again because I don’t.  I would sit around all the time feeling sorry for myself and stuffing my face.  Would I be willing to give that up?  Would I be willing to give up my sedentary lifestyle for a lifestyle of activity?  Would I be able to give up my love affair with food?  If I would be willing to “give anything” to be thin again, why wouldn’t I give these bad habits up for good ones?  It’s a simple enough answer. 
 
So, it was then, during that conversation with God, that I decided that I would give up my lazy lifestyle and with God’s help I would develop a new, healthy lifestyle. 
 
I have been working so hard to loose this weight, I work my butt off physically every day, and I eat the way a healthy person should eat.  I am in better shape then I have been in years.  Probably even in better shape then I was 100 lbs. ago.  My endurance is growing, my waist is shrinking!  My belly no longer sags onto my thighs!!!
 
Every day now, I thank God for showing me the way.  There’s a long path ahead of me…as a matter of fact, it stretches on as far as I can see.  The road, I know, is going to have it’s rough spots along with the smooth, but, I will never look back!
 
 
 

A quickie…

Posted March 7, 2007 * Comments(19)
Since today is the 2nd month anniversary from when I started this, I thought I’d go ahead and take another before/after shot.  I will make sure I update it on the 7th of each month.  Slowly but surely there are changes going on.   The sad thing is that I let myself get so darn big that when I lose 40 pounds, I am still so darn big!  But, that’s ok, that’s where I was at, not where I will be again. 
 
One of these days I will take a nice picture of me, instead of the usual end of the day, hair is up, looking like crap pictures that I have been taking.
 
 
I mentioned this earlier on the forums but wanted to talk about it here too, because it is such an awesome thing for me.  While I was doing my strength training this morning I started thinking about how many days I’ve been OP.  I have been OP every single day since I began this journey back on January 7, 2007!  I have never  been OP for longer then two weeks.

 
What is different this time around for me?  Well, there are many differences really.  Since I promised this would only be a quickie, I will keep it short and name the number one difference for me.  This time I am not on a “diet”.  I am just retraining my habits, turning them into good habits.  Eat how I was meant to eat, move how I was meant to move.  For me it has been a simple matter of eating properly and becoming active.

 
Needless to say, I am so very thankful for how things are going.  These past two months have been an incredible experience!!!  On January 7th I promised myself to start living consciously; I have been doing so and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. 
 
I hope that everyone is doing good, I will check in on everyone’s blogs tomorrow.  Take care & God bless!

Yeah Blues! And, my jeans fall fall down…

Posted March 5, 2007 * Comments(15)
First off, I’ve got to say CONGRATS to all my blue buddies out there!  You guys had an awesome win Sunday, and you so deserved it from all your hard work!!  Keep up the hard work, you’re truly motivating me!
 
My favorite pair of jeans no longer fit and had to be retired to the closet.  Yes, I am hanging on to them, as they’re going to be the jeans that my skinny self will someday hold up to show how great my loss was!  We all gotta have one of those pairs of pants, right?!?  I’ve been trying to keep wearing them a bit here and there but I can no longer do so because they just keep falling down.  How cool is that?  For awhile I thought it was neat just because I no longer had to unbutton/unzip them to take them off and on.  Now the things are actually falling down constantly.  So, I am very thrilled about that.
 
I am good with my weigh in this last Sunday.  While I would’ve rather have pulled out a bigger number for my team, I am happy with a 1 pound loss for the previous week.  TOM came to visit Saturday night and put his toes on the scale when I stood on it Sunday morning, so I am sure that’s why it was only 1 pound.  I am so excited though, because that brought my total weight loss for the past eight weeks to 40 pounds!!!  YAH!!  GO ME!!!
 
We went out Saturday and bought me a new treadmill from The Sports Authority.  Man, is it nicE!!!  I LOVE it!  The one we used to have that broke (the infamous night of the misplaced water bottle at the top of my stairs) was so old, it’s really neat having one of these new models.  I can’t believe how much more expensive they’ve gotten over time, but I believe it’s worth it.
 
I hope that all my buddies are having an awesome Monday!  I love Monday’s because it is time to start anew with our plans and ourselves!

 

Take care and God bless!