I’d been getting this pain off and on for about eight months or so…round about the time of my 100 lb. weight loss. The pain would always come at night, often waking me up in horrendous agony. It always would go away after about 3-5 hours, but I’d never go see a doctor because that’s just how I am. Silly, I know…the pain would go away and I’d have so many other things I had going on that I just would let it go. Anyway, the pain at first only happened every great now and again but seemed to be coming more and more often round about April.
Mother’s day….my mom calls me about noon and tells me that she is going to the emergency room because she is having severe stomach pains. I too was having early symptoms of my version of stomach pains. I knew it was going to be a doozy when it finally hit that night. I didn’t tell her about it cuz’ she always worries and the last thing she needed as she went to emergency was to worry about me. Her and her husband live about three hours away and her husband promised to give me a call as soon as they knew anything. In the mean time the kids and I got some clothes packed up and were getting ready to head up there if he called saying it was serious. She turned out to have something called Diverticulitis and it was cleared up over a couple of day hospital stay with antibiotics through an IV, and after that gave her some pain pills she was feeling good enough that I didn’t feel it necessary to go up there. Besides, I was already starting to be in pain and I knew the real agony was yet to come when I was asleep that night.
Went to bed at about 11pm scared, knowing that I was soon to awaken in agony and praying the whole time that it’d just go away. With my husband in Iraq for the year and it just being me and the kids, I couldn’t afford to go to the hospital. I rationalized things telling myself that I would go to see my regular doctor the next morning for sure, that I would no longer put it off. Well, apparently God had other plans because round about 1:30 am I woke up in the most agonizing pain I’d ever had to deal with. It was so bad that nothing I did made it any better. I’d try getting up and walking around to ease the pain, tried laying with a heating pad, took pain pills and antacids. From what I’d read on the internet, the symptoms were similar to an ulcer so I was trying to treat it as if that was what it was.
At about 2 am I clearly heard God say to me, “Would you please stop being so stubborn and get to the hospital now?” So, I woke up my nearly 18 year old daughter and told her that I was going to the emergency room so that she would be aware of where I was going and could be responsible for her brothers for me. Don’t ask me how I managed to drive myself to the hospital in that horrendous pain, but I managed. I guess you do what you gotta do…surely God had his angels surrounding me for that trip.
At the emergency room they hooked me up with some Demerol, which didn’t take the pain away really. It just took the edge off of it and made me not care that I was feeling pain. They ran a blood test, took x-rays and an ultrasound. I was there for about 4-5 hours total. Come to find out I had gallbladder disease and there were so many gallstones in there it was shocking. Doctor said that I was very lucky to not have died. Apparently rapid weight loss can cause gallstones to build up in there and over time the gallbladder gets diseased and no longer functions the way it’s supposed to, but the liver continues to make bile to secrete into the gallbladder and then the gallbladder tries to squeeze it into the intestines but when there’s that many gallstones in there blocking the bile from coming out it creates excruciating pain.
The next morning I saw my regular doctor for an insurance referral to a surgeon. My doctor gave me a prescription for Vicodin and told me to relax and do whatever it took for me to be pain free until my surgery. All my life I have been terrified of having to have surgery. BIG CHICKEN! As it turned out, I had nothing to fear. I had surgery on Wednesday May 21st and my surgeon said that he could tell I’d had many painful attacks because there was so much scar tissue in there that it was difficult to get it out without cutting me open. But he was able to do it via laparoscopy even though he had to do much finagling to get it out. For me, the surgery was a great experience and I am very thankful for it. I remember being so nervous while being wheeled into the OR. We got in there and there was music playing, the song was “Goodbye to you” by Patty Savage…cracked me up! I looked over at the digital clock on the wall and it said 9:11. These two things combined made me laugh and that loosened me up. My nurse and my anesthesiologist both knew I was nervous (I made sure all involved were aware lol), and were talking to me and then the next thing I knew, I was waking up and it was all over. I said, “Hey! You guys didn’t make me count back from 100!” :oP They knew just talking to me was all I needed…that the actual counting backwards would probably make me more nervous.
Three little holes up under my right breast down to my side, and one bigger one at my belly button and that’s it. I was pretty sore right out of surgery of course, but not all that bad. After about 45 minutes they brought me out of the recovery room, gave me some juice and my mom and daughter came into the room and we chatted for a bit. My mom checked out my bandaids (I was too afraid to look lol), and a short time later I asked my nurse if I could go take myself to the bathroom. Apparently that was all I needed to do to get released cuz’ after I came out she said I was doing so good and whenever I felt ready to go I would be released. Woohoo! So got dressed and away we went. I had had friends tell me to stay as long as they’d let me. My surgery nurse even told me to stay over one night and take advantage of the care. But, I so much would rather be recouping at home that I just left. They were all great there at the hospital and I very much enjoyed my experience there though. I didn’t want to leave cuz’ they’d done anything wrong. I just wanted to get into my own bed.
I was a bit sad at first that my husband wasn’t able to be there to take care of me. I was missing him so much. But, that’s okay. God, my mom, and my kids all took care of me.
The bad thing about all of this is that I wasn’t allowed to do my kickboxing, karate, or strength training for six long weeks!!! I got a bit depressed about that and ended up not getting in any exercise at all! Bad me! Bad! I think I went for two walks in all of that time. When my six weeks was up, it was time for my husband to come home for his two weeks of leave for the year. I didn’t do any exercising then either. Bad me! Bad! So, with no exercising and eating like a pig again, I gained back 30 of those 120 lbs. total I’d lost! I feel like crap about it because I was doing so good and then here I am, having to lose that 30 lbs. again before I can continue where I was at!
But, oh well. Nothing I can about it now except for lose it all again; which is what I intend to do. This time around I am going to lose at least 5o lbs. by the time January 7th (my two year anniversary from when I started losing weight) gets here. That will put me at a total of 148 lbs. of weight loss. Good enough for me for now. I want to get to 190 and then maintain that for about six months before I take off the last 30-40 lbs.
So, that’s where I’ve been all this time. I am sorry I left you all. I was just not in a good place and would’ve done no one here any good either.
It IS good to be back!
